;

so, yesterday was a nightmare I've been avoid of

I lost my sweet lil boy, ilililil.

yesterday was a very heartbreaking even though i already took a distance since before

because I was too afraid of feeling losing anyone who i loved the most

and that was happened.

it was an open wound that i couldn't bear

i spent all hours long crying after i received the bad news

which i didn't even believe it at first, really

i cried in everywhere

at his house

at my house

in car

at morning I woke up with big swollen eyes

the eyes felt numb 'cause the pain in head and chest is way worse

i took a grieve, a lot grieves

regretting all the things i've done and i haven't done

then i realised,

he left me when i wasn't with him

'cause he knew that it would be much worse 

if i was right there

tho no matter if i was there or not,

it still left me heartbroken

i felt like a bit trauma when i saw any post in social media about cats

especially the himalayan 

but it's life

there are much regrets and acceptances i should take

so today, 

i've learnt to let you go, il

though i couldn't, actually

i've tried soo hard

but, God loves you more.

Happy up there, cilio.

Wait for me in next eternal life