12/14/2020

13-14

aku terbaring

begitu juga kau

kita begitu dekat

namun juga tak dekat

sejauh rentangan tangan

aku dapat meraihmu

satu tapak kaki

kau mampu berlutut di hadapanku

terbentang 366 hari 

detik demi detik kau dan aku habiskan

bersama

meski tidak seperti ini jalan yang aku pinta

tapi pada akhirnya keinginanku terwujud

perlahan


11/23/2020

So now, whose life is more important?

Mine or her?

11/03/2020

 I am worthy

 I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

 I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy

I am worthy.

10/20/2020

hubungan dengan Tuhan

hubungan dengan sesama manusia.



sejatinya Tuhan menginginkan kita bersandar kepadaNya

mematuhkan diri atas sabdaNya

karna ketika telah memaknai betapa kecilnya kita

maka kita 'kan mampu memanusiakan ciptaanNya

9/09/2020

I'm so tired

So damn tired

of people who never listen to me



7/21/2020

why everything seems strange




why i felt so useless




why is it so hard to explain





5/23/2020

hancur?

sesungguhnya aku menghunus jantungmu dengan sorot mataku
membidikmu dengan tepat
bahkan hanya dengan getar bibirmu pun aku dapat memahaminya
aku adalah cenayang
aku adalah pengumpul lumpur untuk diriku sendiri
perundung atas duka
sebelum dihantarkan oleh sang luka
tak kan ada sepatah kata yang tertutur
dengan manis maupun tidak
biarkan telinga ini mendengar apa yang pantas
untuk kemudian ditelan
manis ataupun tidak

5/14/2020

Pertunjukan Semu

aku berada di ruang hampa
memandang lurus kau di hadapanku
hawa cenderung hangat tidak menyesakkan
lekuk sungging darimu menenangkan

sentuh dawai dengan kasihmu
mengalun melodi yang berpencar
yang kemudian berpadu

rengkuh peluhmu
bawa padaku
kan ku buatnya diterpa dan hilang

bisikku kau kan tetap di sini
terkatup halo yang tak pernah pudar
dalam senyap dan terpejam

5/03/2020

I might died on my sleep

Many nights
the pain never missed any chance
it hurts me
stabbing my chest
my back

I never want to pray a bad thing for me
but I never wanna be forgotten, being left
like it or not,
i wish i'm dead before everyone

Such bittertruth i had to swallow
I can't let you with anyone else

I
Must
Be
The
Only
One
You
Rely
On

And once death comes to me
It might hurts
I never want to say goodbye
Since I'll stay here forever
dead or alive

I wish I was good enough
before i left
I wish people will remember me
by the good things i did
I wish I'm capable enough
to make people regret for treated me bad

I might died on my sleep
I wish it will be peacefully

5/01/2020

sometimes i wish i'm allowed to smash my own head
so i know exactly what is inside it
is it same as i typed
as mine is yours
sometimes i wish you are too

i have no head
no heart
no eyes
no lips
no hands
no feet
as it's all yours
and it's under my will

my deeds
colorful yet it has black in it
my sins

you have a thousand eyes up there
i'm down below
already taken over

i have no head
no heart
no eyes
no lips
no hands
no feet
as it's all yours
and it's under my will

blank

4/13/2020

when the people i care about hurt me
i can't mad at them
i just blame me
hate me
as you know
hating yourself is more powerful than hating others
you can argue then win or lose over someone
but you can't argue with yourself
and do you know what to end it?
Bet you know it, yes, you do.

4/02/2020

While He always know what's in my mind
once again i'll say the same thing.
And if He could ever be bored, He would be,
of me.

"Tired of living but not ready enough to face death"
Will there be an afterlife?
Do I really live?
I'm already dead.

Angel-like human are around me
very gentle and nice to me
I wish i could do the same to them.
It must be so suck for them to know me
They're like human-shaped angel.
Just if I ever saw one.

3/17/2020

"Guide me, i'm lost"
As this little girl walked down the stairs
of the building she never been or seen
yet anything she ever could seen
Muds, sand
she left her footprints all the way around she passed
"Are you there yet?"
She plays her hair
When the sun light hits it, it's brownish, but she resist to believe it
she always say that her hair is black
"Hello?"
Hello
Hello
Her echoes come back
Until she hears a crack of a dry leaf
"Are you there?"
She couldn't hear anything afterward
but the wind blows more dry leaves closer to her
She grabs a leaf which fall on her head
and scratch it
"I know you're here, just because i can't see, doesn't mean i can't smell your scent"
No answer to her words
She takes another steps
and another footstep following hers
"Am I walking to the wrong path?"
Footsteps keep remain but only befriended with the wind
No sound could be heard there
She walks and walks
Her feet is getting dirtier but she laughs anytime she steps on the soil

"Um, would you, please?"
She knows that she's not alone
Then she keeps saying the same thing again and again
Still, it's only the wind who answered her




In a sudden
She turns around
A gasp followed while something is falling
She fainted and fall off a cliff

3/11/2020

In the Savior's will

And I believe that God has power of all including dust in my soul
Nothing could heal anything beside His will
Take a deep breath and in a blink of eye
your sorrow will gone

These words seems like prayers
You might say it

All i could ever do anytime i couldn't even recognize myself
is talking to Him
I know He'll always listen to me
He has more ears than mine which i use to listen to others

I do believe in power of faith
We put vision
We seek path
He strengthen our footsteps
I do believe in power of purity
He enlightens our vision
He provides the ways
We keep sacrificing with barefoot

2/11/2020

4

terasa bak sedari lama
bukan hasilkan penat, maksudnya
melainkan dalam dan pekat

tiada gamam aku meletakkan telapak
tersambut oleh genggaman yang memantapkan
ia hangat sekaligus menyejukkan

arahnya sepadan
genggam mengayun riang
iramanya dinamis
menyibak risau yang nihil

menuntun pada bunga kehidupan tuk mekar
dan kan terpetik ranumnya bersama