hidup?

Kehidupan kita ada banyak.
dan kita harus menghidupi semua itu.

seringkali kita harus menghadapi situasi yang tidak kita inginkan.
menyebalkan.
seringkali kita menghadapinya dengan serius.
atau bahkan kita tidak memedulikannya sama sekali.
mungkin bukan kita, melainkan aku.

terkadang huruf-huruf yang melayang itu perlu ditangkap.
terkadang hanya perlu dilihat.
apa gunanya alfabet itu meluncur
jika pada akhirnya hanya dibiarkan hancur terjatuh?

aku lelah dengan kehidupan yang banyak.
aku ingin mematikan diriku di beberapa hidupku.
atau bisakah aku bertukar jiwa?
atau bertukar raga, barangkali?

terkadang beberapa hal terlihat sama.
terkadang lainnya hal-hal tersebut tidak terlihat beda.
percuma.

shouting wind to dandelion

"I'm scared" said a little Dandelion to the Tree above it.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe" replied Tree while cut its branches off to cover Dandelion. 

It's a bad weather. Rainy and very windy. Dandelion felt so cozy and warm, then fell asle

Every time, every rain and everyday, Tree took care about the lil Dandelion. And that little grew into a bigger and bigger Dandelion.

.

.

.

Time passed. Through the bad weather, here's come the nice morning. Sunshine was so bright, at that time. But also, it could be a bad time for Tree.

"I think it's time for me to go, Tree" said Dandelion.

"Ah, it must be very nice to see the world"

"I hope so," "but.."

"Yap?"

"Maybe we couldn't see each other anymore. I thank you for all of your kindness, Tree. I don't know how to treat you more than you do to me.."

"Don't worry about that, I did it because I care about you"

Dandelion was so excited to fly. It put off its 'feet' and ready to feel the wind over its body.

Then, the wind flew Dandelion away to the sky. Dandelion was very happy, so it left Tree without even saying goodbye.

"Fly away, Dandelion. Fly away.. Maybe my time with you is over now"

Just fly away. That's what you wanted for your whole life.

yang berkilauan di langit tidak selalu bintang. bisa jadi ia planet lain, atau satelit.

aku mungkin menggemari hal yang berkaitan dengan bintang, langit, dan hal-hal ruang angkasa lainnya. tapi orang lain belum tentu menggemarinya, bukan?

sang burung bisa saja dengan bangga menceritakan segala hal yang dapat ia lihat dari cakrawala. mungkin bisa saja dengan angkuhnya memberitahu sang kura-kura. ya, apalah aku yang lamban di darat ini, kura-kura bergumam demikian, menurut sang burung.

sang burung seolah tidak menyadari darimanakah cacing yang sebagai pengisi perutnya. dari tanah. sejak kapan ada cacing yang berjatuhan dari langit? 

ia dengan bangganya menyibakkan sayapnya kemudian membentangkannya lalu terbang. terbanglah, burung, sampai kamu lelah dan ingin mendarat di dahan. atau cuaca buruk yang menjadi rintang bagimu, yang kemudian akan menghempaskanmu ke tanah. bisakah kau merasa aman di atas tanah selayaknya rasa amanmu ketika di langit?

sang kura-kura bisa dengan tenangnya, dimanapun ia berada, ia terselamatkan. taring besar milik siapakah yang mampu memecahkan pelindungnya?

not every words you read have the same meaning as you thought.

everything is different.

my words are not yours.

my life is not yours.

my self isn't like yours.

You only have to stay.

Half of my soul takes me to other world

Where I can only smell sins and lies

Dark

I see no light

Betrayal

I must be running

Escape

I’m falling apart

Hit the ground

Scars and bleeding

No, that wasn’t betrayal.

Back to the Earth, welcome, me.

Prepare yourself, bring that joy.

Soon we’ll go to Heaven.

casa

you'll be coming home. wherever you go, there is only one best place for you, it's home.

you may see another buildings, another places prettier, but they can't be your home, because what you see of them, you just get fascinated by seeing them. 

but home,

it's full of love. no matter how far you are from home, you'll always want to go home soon. because it's the right place where you have to.

dare

dearest paper,
you know all of the things
get ready to fly
bring your scent with you
tell the truth
you won't go by yourself alone
that sweet thing and a small capture of truth will be with you
spread the joy
and love

notte

so many sparks here
it could make its flames
and keep it on fire

Bismillah :)

jadi tadi overnatural abis latihan seperti biasa, tapi ngga ada Bima karena udah balik ke Semarang, goodluck for your study, our guitarist. kita latihan dua jam, start dari jam 3. dan ternyata wicak ngasih tau kalo kita ada project manggung, besok. ya, besok!! 

akhirnya kita sewa studio lagi buat ngelancarin lagu-lagu yang insyaAllah akan kita bawain. Jam tambahan yang ngga berasa tau-tau udah abis, ternyata bener2 fokus bikin ngga berasa ya :D

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, besok, lakuin yang terbaik, semoga ngga ngecewain, sukses pokoknya aamiiin :)

unreached

idk
why do those fireflies come more often than before?
not in my head nor outside

but I'm sure I can see them fly around me
I can't touch them
I feel no sense

the only sense of mine that working is my vision
or illusion

come fireflies, let me touch you

Still..

Perhaps night is always be my favorite
It could bring my happiness
My stars
Through the darkness

You still got me into the best part of the day
Pouring stars in the sky
Showering me with starlight
Blowing cold wind
I don't mind, I love it

Night is always be my favorite
So are you.

Assalamualaikum!

It's been a long time I didn’t post anything.

Before the Idl Mubarak day, my family were really busy. Why? Because my sister’s pregnancy was getting in a trouble. Pre-eclamsy. I didn’t really understand, but  I know there was something wrong with her, because her body was getting swollen. She said that she had excess of protein and it appeared in her urine.

Her friend once also get the same diagnosed. And sadly, she and her baby weren’t saved. May Allah grant ‘em the best place in His side.

Back to my sister, so she had to gave birth on fifth of July, which is one day before Mubarak day. At the last day of Ramadhan, had born my first nephew. Baby boy!! Alhamdulillah, his condition was stable for his age. And many days later, we brang him to our house :D

Now my nephew (Arsen) is growing healthier and fatter xD Glad to see him in our family, we hope and pray you'll always fisabilillah, love your family, have good manners, smart and kind, and many  other prayers for you, Arsen :) 

.

.

Some people may judge everything they want, but actually it’s not allowed. You don’t even know how someone that you judge had suffering from death. I don’t mean to exaggerate it,  but can you realize how Allah still loves her, and absolutely us, so He still gives us time to life? J

ON!

Good evening or whenever you read this...

Jadi, dari hari-hari kemarin udah dijadwalin kalo besok, Minggu 3 Juli 2016, band (cieilah) kita mau ke studio. Latihan biasa, selagi libur.. Yaa meskipun besok kayanya ngga semua member dateng, soalnya udah ada yang pada mudik, enjoy guys \m/

;

Anyway, tadi siang abis ngeliat video-video latihan kita. kalian bisa cek di channel Youtube gue :D Nah, seketika itu juga gue keinget di suatu malem ketika emak gue kepo pas gue lagi upload salah satu video latihan kita itu sambil nonton video latihan kita yang lainnya

kamu lagi ngapain sih? - Biyunge nyong

aku lagi nonton video latihan tadi di studio..

mana coba ibu liat, kaya apa sih kamu nyanyi nya?

Gue ngga langsung ngasih unjuk ke emak gue. Tau kenapa? Hmmmm.. Jadi gini..  Video yang lagi gue tonton itu.......

 Takutnya aja, takutnya, emak gue kaget gitu kan ngedengerin anaknya nyanyi.. Astaghfirullah, anak gue kenapa ini... Kudu daftar diruqyah kayanya.. Takutnya gitu.....

Fail ngga sih itu? Iya sih wakakkakakaka, maklum cuma streaming youtube dengan kuota terbatas, maklum anak kuliahan. Kalo di kampus sih ada wi-fi unlimited, tapi yakali kan gue streamingnya kan sambil ikutan nyobain, yakali gue nyobain di kampus. yang ada gue di ruqyah seketika di kampus tertjinta.

Hmmm ngga tau lagi mau ngetik apa. Yang jelas masih kangen sih buat latihan lagi. Ibaratnya mah masih kurang pertemuannya buat menuhin syarat biar bisa ikut UAS *apasih *keselnggalu. Yaudah kalo gitu. Semoga masih bakal ada banyak pertemuan sama anak-anak ini !!! :D

#Throwback

Lagi iseng liat-liat galeri. ternyata ada foto ini. foto pas perpisahan, saat tangan gue abis digigit Brandy sampe bengkak dan...bernanah :|

Raras and me, the Soprano~ 

We know each other well since we were applied for school vocal group. And finally, at third grade, we got the same class.

At the time, I was in a hardest condition. I got no one to share. And then, this girl asked me to be one of her roommate. Gosh, she's like an angel :') 

She shared bus-seat with me. She let me choose which seat that I want. She seemed not worry when I cleaned my scars in bus.

We sang some songs outside of our room. Chillin' with our room-mates and starving at midnight.



I can't even remember, did I ever say thanks to her for being the nicest person while I got worsts? Just if you read this, I wanna thank you so much. Maybe it looks too over, but I really mean it.

For other readers, you just have to be kind, be nice, everytime. Because even a smallest thing you do to them, it can be the most meaningful thing to them. Don't care if they're your bestfriend, or even just know their name, you can do kind things everywhere, to everyone :)

Alhamdulillah :D

I know absolutely how being rejected. Not about love, but people. It's bitter part of life, but yhaaa namanya juga idup. Ada yang enak, ada yang ngga. Dari yang awalnya kecewa banget ngerasain hal kaya gitu ke orang-orang yang udah dipercaya, sampe akhirnya bosen buat ngerasa sakit dan kecewa, jadi ya, yoweslah. Gue masih bisa idup ini, alhamdulillah.

Hidup kalo dipake cuma buat ngeluh juga kayanya sedih banget gitu ya, jadi balik ke prinsip gue jaman bahela, kalo ada yang bikin happy, ya ambil happy nya aja. Ngga usah mumet mikir bagian yang ngga enaknya, walau susah juga buat mengabaikan sesuatu yang..seperti itulah. 

:D

Tired of being told that I am looked like chopstick (ofc the only person to blame is my sister), I tried many ways to make my body fatter.

I eat many meals, it was like more than three times a day. I also consume vermifuge, because she (my sister) used to say that I've grown wormies farm in my stomach lol. Gracias. 

But that's not working. 

More food I ate, my body weight is turning down. I don't know what's wrong with my wormies in there. 

.

.

.

.

And then, I think I found the better way. Build my muscles. YA.

A few days ago, I started it. Dumbell lifting. At first, for warming up, I did some things like, jumping, push-ups, sit-ups or if I was home alone, I danced two songs :p I did dumbell lifting for 30-50 times for each arms, right and left. My dumbell's weight is 5 kilos :D I don't know if it could be too heavy or light for me.

But slowly it gave me the result. My muscles are little bit stronger now. When I lifted my arms, I could see my muscles xD 

I know it's just a simple thing, but it's really mean to me. Lots of fun :D

Maybe you should try another exercises:D

tonight's thoughts~

when saying "sorry" is useless because your faults are unable to count.
sometimes you must get a punch in your face to realize everything.
to understand your mistakes. to set up your mindsets.

everyone will realize how a thing is really meant to them, when that thing's gone, or almost. or something near that thing is also going to leave.

so hard to keep everything in your mind. it's like my brain going to explode.

you are blessed. for those people who have some people that could be your listener.
be grateful.