sesungguhnya aku menghunus jantungmu dengan sorot mataku
membidikmu dengan tepat
bahkan hanya dengan getar bibirmu pun aku dapat memahaminya
aku adalah cenayang
aku adalah pengumpul lumpur untuk diriku sendiri
perundung atas duka
sebelum dihantarkan oleh sang luka
tak kan ada sepatah kata yang tertutur
dengan manis maupun tidak
biarkan telinga ini mendengar apa yang pantas
untuk kemudian ditelan
manis ataupun tidak
5/23/2020
5/14/2020
Pertunjukan Semu
aku berada di ruang hampa
memandang lurus kau di hadapanku
hawa cenderung hangat tidak menyesakkan
lekuk sungging darimu menenangkan
sentuh dawai dengan kasihmu
mengalun melodi yang berpencar
yang kemudian berpadu
rengkuh peluhmu
bawa padaku
kan ku buatnya diterpa dan hilang
bisikku kau kan tetap di sini
terkatup halo yang tak pernah pudar
dalam senyap dan terpejam
memandang lurus kau di hadapanku
hawa cenderung hangat tidak menyesakkan
lekuk sungging darimu menenangkan
sentuh dawai dengan kasihmu
mengalun melodi yang berpencar
yang kemudian berpadu
rengkuh peluhmu
bawa padaku
kan ku buatnya diterpa dan hilang
bisikku kau kan tetap di sini
terkatup halo yang tak pernah pudar
dalam senyap dan terpejam
5/03/2020
I might died on my sleep
Many nights
the pain never missed any chance
it hurts me
stabbing my chest
my back
I never want to pray a bad thing for me
but I never wanna be forgotten, being left
like it or not,
i wish i'm dead before everyone
Such bittertruth i had to swallow
I can't let you with anyone else
I
Must
Be
The
Only
One
You
Rely
On
And once death comes to me
It might hurts
I never want to say goodbye
Since I'll stay here forever
dead or alive
I wish I was good enough
before i left
I wish people will remember me
by the good things i did
I wish I'm capable enough
to make people regret for treated me bad
I might died on my sleep
I wish it will be peacefully
Many nights
the pain never missed any chance
it hurts me
stabbing my chest
my back
I never want to pray a bad thing for me
but I never wanna be forgotten, being left
like it or not,
i wish i'm dead before everyone
Such bittertruth i had to swallow
I can't let you with anyone else
I
Must
Be
The
Only
One
You
Rely
On
And once death comes to me
It might hurts
I never want to say goodbye
Since I'll stay here forever
dead or alive
I wish I was good enough
before i left
I wish people will remember me
by the good things i did
I wish I'm capable enough
to make people regret for treated me bad
I might died on my sleep
I wish it will be peacefully
5/01/2020
sometimes i wish i'm allowed to smash my own head
so i know exactly what is inside it
is it same as i typed
as mine is yours
sometimes i wish you are too
i have no head
no heart
no eyes
no lips
no hands
no feet
as it's all yours
and it's under my will
my deeds
colorful yet it has black in it
my sins
you have a thousand eyes up there
i'm down below
already taken over
i have no head
no heart
no eyes
no lips
no hands
no feet
as it's all yours
and it's under my will
blank
so i know exactly what is inside it
is it same as i typed
as mine is yours
sometimes i wish you are too
i have no head
no heart
no eyes
no lips
no hands
no feet
as it's all yours
and it's under my will
my deeds
colorful yet it has black in it
my sins
you have a thousand eyes up there
i'm down below
already taken over
i have no head
no heart
no eyes
no lips
no hands
no feet
as it's all yours
and it's under my will
blank
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