#DaithlyJournalDayIdk

Hari ke.... entahlah

Suffering because of something that triggers me on the road to house.

yes, house.

The building where I drop all my madness

trying to release all the burden

but somehow it becomes it.

I used to be free,

since I was a child, as young as I can remember.

My grades? Don't care.

Just make sure I'm on the upper list,

if was on the 2nd or 3rd place,

why can't you be the 1st??

if was on the 1st place,

nice then, that's all.

No complains, no worries,

no compliment

No question how to done the task

No heartbreak had been heard,

Just, nothing?

Or am I really facing dementia early

so I couldn't remember anything?

More than 15 years of life I'm sober, 

more than 15 years that I can remember,

I lived my life just like yeah mountains there, go through them

Fire anywhere, pass them

Some flowers? okay that's fine

I did a little run in freedom yet lost

Now,

in this fucking age,

you want to control me as a child?

you want to treat me as a child who doesn't know anything?

who can't understand what's good and bad,

i knew it's good and you can't enjoy it with me

i knew it's bad and you can't save me.

where were you when I was a child

where were you when I need this kind of attention

Only you did once I poured my tears 

when I spent tiring night at other place,

where others' were worrying about them,

while me?

can you get me these groceries once you get home?

I don't need it this kind of attention now.

It's waaaaay to late.

And it's suck.

I love you but it's still suck for me.

I'm already lost and now you think about how to prevent me from being lost.

I already did.